Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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