ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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