i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
