This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
