how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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