you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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