Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
well you can't waste a boner
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
