Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
