I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
