Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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