worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
