i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
