It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
