im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
