can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
