I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
