You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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