dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
