the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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