Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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