Moan for me like Helen Keller
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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