Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
