Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
