I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
