Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
