Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
