i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
