My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How naked do you want me to be?
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