i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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