Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
