you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
