Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
