Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
