You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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