You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My feet surprised me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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