You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
