haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
