it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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