we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No subtext here. People are naked.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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