I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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