if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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