you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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