new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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