we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you never un-have a 4some
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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