I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
