I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
