just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
