Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
