idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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