No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
should my penis look like a turkey
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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