This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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