can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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