is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
